March 12, 2014

1.  Turned on IPR preparing for my daily count of the words "emerald ash borer."
2. Wondered what made this whole emerald ash borer thing such a tragic deal that they were quarantining firewood. Really, is the ash tree so special we will be grief stricken if we are stuck with oaks and maples?
3. Realized it was festival week and grew increasingly enraged at the irrational plan public media puts into action 4 times a year to hold my programming hostage while they beg for money. Truly, does ANYONE stay on their station when they do this? Are there people who drive all the way to work jamming to the sound of Drury Bouskaren promising to give them a coffee mug for a $75 donation. The $1000 "gift" might be lunch with Drury Bouskaren and I might want that so I can see what someone named Drury looks like.
4. Changed it to 100.3 and sang loudly all the way to work.
5. Pulled into the lot with Aerosmith blaring. Waited in the car while screaming "Dude look like a lady!" yelps and all.
6. Wondered whatever happened to that girl named Sonya who lip-synched to that at the OHS talent show in 89.
7. Noticed that she pronounced her name differently than my college friend Sonya and I wondered which Sonya was right. Then I wondered if the two Sonya's would get into a high fight if I threw them in a cage and made them call each other by the other pronunciation.
8. Exited my car looking around to see if any students witnessed my solo performance. I was safe.
9. Wondered again why I can't play the drums.
10. Felt like a washed up failure once again for not growing up to be Sheila E.
11. Decided Friday I would take up jogging in the pursuit of at least being able to wear gold lame' like Sheila E. When it comes back into style I will be ready.
12. Wondered if Sonya from high school also needed to take up jogging.
13. Wondered if Heidi from high school had also grown fat or if she was only ugly with meanness like always.
14. Made my way to my classroom, glancing at the post-it a student had put on my door. "You make a difference!" it said.
15. Determined that today I would make a difference and maybe Sheila E. wouldn't and certainly Heidi from high school wouldn't.
16. Found the poem Annabel Lee was going around in my head and began to recite it.
17. Ended it with "quoth the Raven nevermore" which, of course is not right but is sort of funny to me today.
18. Stood in the hallway shouting hello to students knowing I would be the world's best Wal-mart greeter and hoping they know I am actually excited to see them.
19. Wondered whether PLINKO would be on Price is Right Friday since it would be spring break.
20. Dug through my box of random hats and costume pieces noticing the month old lunch tray I had hidden in my drawer, knowing that my sloppy ways are only indicative of a creative rock-star spirit.